Beyond Feelings

Yesterday, I saw Joyce Meyer's book, Living Beyond Your Feelings, advertised on T.V.  Coincidentally, the kids and I visited the large downtown library in Orange County and I found this book prominently displayed when I walked into the main foyer.  I picked it up and read through about 4 chapters last night while everyone else was sleeping.  So far, it is a good book.

Over my Christmas break, I have easily read over 20 books.  I have picked up everything from inspirational books, to mysteries and more.  I have only the weekend remaining before it is back to business for me.  I am going to miss the time off and spending time out with the kids.  Although, I will have the weekends, it won't be the same because I will be back into teaching again and juggling 4 classes and an internship, plus practicum hours in the autism field.  I also have a research study to complete.


The highlight for me in this coming semester is that my Spring Break will fall the week after my children's Spring Break which gives me some uninterrupted time to complete some projects, complete my practicum hours and maybe enjoy sleeping in.  I have 2 field trips coming up: the first to Legoland and the second to St. Augustine with my class.  


With so much going on this semester, I also have to find time to study for Elementary Education exam.  This will be my last exam needed for certification.  After this, I just have to complete my ASD endorsement and apply to have it added to my teaching license.  After having completed my MA a year ago and staying on to complete an additional 30 hours in special education past that, I am honestly, burned out of going to school.  At this point, there is no way that I am even considering going for a doctorate degree.  The only way I would at this point, is if my employer offered me a tuition reimbursement or paid for my degree.  It's just too much work.


I picked up a 2012 Writer's Market from the library while I was there.  One of my upcoming projects that I hope to complete by summer is to start submitting articles to trade journals in my field and work toward publication.  Eventually, I want to teach a couple of classes again at the college level and that is one of the criteria to increase your chances of being hired.  I am more of a technical writer and not an entertainment writer.  Like Michael, I tend to sit down and write papers and articles in one sitting, using my knowledge and whatever comes to mind.  It is going to be interesting to turn that around and research first, then write geared toward a specific outlet.

I am working toward a few things.  I am very impatient to get through this semester.  Michael and I talked about this last night, that when I want something to happen, I worry and obsess about it until it happens or it doesn't.  I am looking forward to summer break because I will not be working full time, I will have more time to complete my teaching requirements, more time to write with time in between to fit in trips to the beach, the museums and other places with the kids.  I am not a stay at home type of person.  


Michael is the opposite of me.  He would like nothing better than bumming around the house in his pj pants, catching up on comics and wrestling and DVR shows, with a nap thrown in.  He never worries about anything.  It is a quality that I both admire and it drives me nuts at the same time.  I can only hope that in the midst of my driving him crazy, that he finds my motivation and hard work as good qualities out of all my obsessive worrying.  He is going to give me the one-eyed stare as he reads this.  :)  If you are married, you know what I am talking about.


I have so much stuff in the works right now: work, school, my ASD program, my teaching program, looking for a position in my field for my practicum hours, taking my exam, tutoring, kids, substitute teaching, an autism conference, preparing to write seriously for publication....no wonder I am looking forward so much to summer break when my workload will drop to about 1/3.  


This past year, my eyes have opened up so much about the opportunities around me.  I sometimes feel that I have wasted so much time limiting myself by doing for others first, only seeing my options as all or nothing and putting things on hold for me to take care of others.  I have learned so much about the options available to me now and that there are many variations to my dreams.  I know that God has given me the purpose of working in autism.  I just have to have faith that as I rise to meet accept that, the doors will open.


All said, I think I am happier about my position and where things are leading me.