Despite my last week or so of disrupted sleep, on the go eating, missed gym workouts and stress, I have not gained any weight. Not exactly sure how that happened, but hey, I'm relieved. I am definitely coming down with allergies or a cold. I've been feeling it over the last couple of days and this evening, it is definitely clear that I'm getting sick. I blame the erratic last couple of weeks that I have had.
Today, Kaitlyn and I got up at 7:00 am to go grocery shopping before Michael needed my car for work. We were racing around between 2 stores to buy everything we needed for the week, having coffee together while we shopped. I love our mother-daughter times together. Our cabinets and refrigerator are now stocked with a lot of healthy options.
I had this plan to make dinner tonight, then at the last minute decided to skip cooking and order pizza. A couple of Tylenol and tea while waiting for the delivery guy later, still wasn't feeling that great. I feel kind of bad ordering pizza, but there is no way that I felt like cooking tonight. Pizza is usually one of those foods that when I eat it, I eat a lot of it. But, I noticed the last couple of times that we have ordered, I've been able to cut myself off after 2-3 slices feeling stuffed. I think my reducing my portions over the last month has made me recognize what feeling full is really like and being able to stop at that point.
Tonight, I was watching the latest Who Do You Think You Are show featuring Steve Buscemi on this episode. I rarely get to watch this show. There were a lot of things in his family history that were dark moments. In the end, what struck me about this episode is how each decision that you make in your life can ultimately impact your children, your spouse and future generations even without that intention. Even bad decisions can ultimately turn into something good for a future generation.
I am at a place today where I am trying to put more into my decisions. In living consciously of my choices, I hope to achieve the future that I envision for myself and my family. There is so much I want to accomplish, mostly all of which is centered around providing more for my family. I hope that my decisions today will inspire my children to make good decisions for themselves and help them achieve more for themselves.
There are times when I look at the circumstances around us now and I wonder will my life always be trying to dig myself out? Sometimes, life feels like it is a series of one step forward, two steps back. But, when I look beyond the circumstances of right now, to the way life was 5 years ago, 10 years ago, etc. , I really see that I have made progress along the way and I have come really far. I think the circumstances of the now because they are so raw and real, it clouds our ability to see ourselves as the confident, capable person that we are.
Problems to me, every time I face one, is not to wait for the hurdle to move, but I am always looking for a way over, through or around it. Sometimes, I allow that to stress me or even defeat me in that moment. I am learning to accept that some problems are meant for us to step away from, let them sit there, while we figure out everything else. The problem will either move in a way we never expected, or we decide that it wasn't such a big problem like we thought it was and we either accept it or we find a new way to deal with it.
The older I get, and most of this may be due to Michael, but I am growing stronger each year. I used to worry about what people thought or said or did, to the point where I could not be honest or be myself. I have learned that the person that I have to find acceptance with is myself. I must be at peace with me.
I have big goals this year. I wanted a better paying job, but I have a job that will give me more experience and I can keep trying for that better paying job. I want to pay off my car. We now need to buy Michael a car. I want to begin paying off my student loans. I want my full teaching credentials with my autism endorsement. These are all big goals that come with big financial burdens.
I am putting faith in God that he will not only see us through these hurdles, but he will make a way for us. I am putting each of these in his hands and believing that our needs will be met, our works will be blessed, our debts will be paid. I also believe that in the process, God will enable us to grow stronger.
Today, Kaitlyn and I got up at 7:00 am to go grocery shopping before Michael needed my car for work. We were racing around between 2 stores to buy everything we needed for the week, having coffee together while we shopped. I love our mother-daughter times together. Our cabinets and refrigerator are now stocked with a lot of healthy options.
I had this plan to make dinner tonight, then at the last minute decided to skip cooking and order pizza. A couple of Tylenol and tea while waiting for the delivery guy later, still wasn't feeling that great. I feel kind of bad ordering pizza, but there is no way that I felt like cooking tonight. Pizza is usually one of those foods that when I eat it, I eat a lot of it. But, I noticed the last couple of times that we have ordered, I've been able to cut myself off after 2-3 slices feeling stuffed. I think my reducing my portions over the last month has made me recognize what feeling full is really like and being able to stop at that point.
Tonight, I was watching the latest Who Do You Think You Are show featuring Steve Buscemi on this episode. I rarely get to watch this show. There were a lot of things in his family history that were dark moments. In the end, what struck me about this episode is how each decision that you make in your life can ultimately impact your children, your spouse and future generations even without that intention. Even bad decisions can ultimately turn into something good for a future generation.
I am at a place today where I am trying to put more into my decisions. In living consciously of my choices, I hope to achieve the future that I envision for myself and my family. There is so much I want to accomplish, mostly all of which is centered around providing more for my family. I hope that my decisions today will inspire my children to make good decisions for themselves and help them achieve more for themselves.
There are times when I look at the circumstances around us now and I wonder will my life always be trying to dig myself out? Sometimes, life feels like it is a series of one step forward, two steps back. But, when I look beyond the circumstances of right now, to the way life was 5 years ago, 10 years ago, etc. , I really see that I have made progress along the way and I have come really far. I think the circumstances of the now because they are so raw and real, it clouds our ability to see ourselves as the confident, capable person that we are.
Problems to me, every time I face one, is not to wait for the hurdle to move, but I am always looking for a way over, through or around it. Sometimes, I allow that to stress me or even defeat me in that moment. I am learning to accept that some problems are meant for us to step away from, let them sit there, while we figure out everything else. The problem will either move in a way we never expected, or we decide that it wasn't such a big problem like we thought it was and we either accept it or we find a new way to deal with it.
The older I get, and most of this may be due to Michael, but I am growing stronger each year. I used to worry about what people thought or said or did, to the point where I could not be honest or be myself. I have learned that the person that I have to find acceptance with is myself. I must be at peace with me.
I have big goals this year. I wanted a better paying job, but I have a job that will give me more experience and I can keep trying for that better paying job. I want to pay off my car. We now need to buy Michael a car. I want to begin paying off my student loans. I want my full teaching credentials with my autism endorsement. These are all big goals that come with big financial burdens.
I am putting faith in God that he will not only see us through these hurdles, but he will make a way for us. I am putting each of these in his hands and believing that our needs will be met, our works will be blessed, our debts will be paid. I also believe that in the process, God will enable us to grow stronger.
Comments
Post a Comment